How to I stop being such a bad gf?

I am in a relationship for 2 years now the first 1,5 year was so nice.. But then everything ruined. My bf loves me so much and he is remind me that everyday is just I kinda fed up and not fully trust him that much anymore. See when we are together he always have his phone ringing all the time and is crazy because is ringing non stop and I just want his full attention and I get mad which I was not use to do that before. He kept me secrets in the past and I find everything by my self the last minute he borrowed money from a guy and that guy was threatening him and he never told me that to help him but I find out and I got so mad and I helped him he promised he will never lie to me but it was hard to get my trust back but he got it after all. One day he left never told me and never contact me after 2 days he called me and he said to me he went in his home country and got one way ticket he promised not to leave me and in one day he disappeared he told me he went there to work and get money because he could not afford for his own school fees and he came back for me now but still i got that bad feeling of being left alone and heartbroken and is hard for me when he say to me when ever he want to go out because I get so sad but I never tell him anything but he understand that I am getting mad and he is yelling and screaming saying that I am causing all the arguments in the relationship. I never had problems with his friends but is like they are all day even when I want to spend some time with him there either calling or visiting unexpected we don't live together and I drive everyday almost half hour to see him and it gets me all mad that he can't affort some time for me and I complain and he don't like it and we end up having a fight. Pluss not only one but many times he left me waiting in the car for 30 minutes even 2 hours because his friends needed him and he could not say no. I never make him a seen but I can't hold my nerves no more and I am explode and we argue and he make me feel so bad because it sys is my fault all the time. So how can I stop all these bad feelings and not get mad at him no more..? All I want is just a lil bit attention